Lots of guests require lots of planning

Aaron Tobin’s “victory” celebration after reaching his goal of becoming a Bar Mitzvah March 12, 2011. Ray Bassett / MADDOCK PHOTOGRAPHERS Bigger was better for Aaron Tobin of Tampa, who became a Bar Mitzvah with more than 350 guests at his reception — about one-third of them from out of town. Aaron had one of the largest parties of the year, according to parents responding to the Jewish Press’ 2011 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Alumni survey.

Aaron, son of Valerie and Lee Tobin of Tampa, was called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah on March 12 at Congregation Rodeph Sholom in Tampa.

Sharing some of her experiences in coordinating such a large undertaking, Valerie Tobin said having a “game plan” is without a doubt the most important part about planning such a large undertaking.

“Maybe you don’t have all the details worked out, but get it all together.” The Bar Mitzvah mom set her game plan two and a half years in advance of her son’s big day.

Balloons and chair covers in vivid colors enlivened the inside scene while the Tampa Bay Ray’s mascot Raymond revved up the crowd, escorting the Bar Mitzvah boy into the party. Ray Bassett / MADDOCK PHOTOGRAPHERS She actually began planning some things the day her son was born, such as footage for a video montage of Aaron’s life that starts as he learns to walk.

Valerie used a computer program to organize guests’ mailing addresses, but used a notebook for the rest of her scheduling. The first guest list was about 450 people long, but was eventually whittled down to around 365. Even at that number, the Tobins, in the survey of parents, wrote their only regret was not being able to invite more people.

To save their guests from any feelings of claustrophobia, the Tobins booked the venue: the Florida State Fairgrounds, which has its own catering services.

A portion of the party lit up the night outside. Because about 120 of their guests were out-of-towners, the Tobins had to figure out the best way to transport people to and from the hotel, synagogue and the Fairgrounds. A year and a half in advance, they booked a 75-passenger bus to shuttle guests between destinations. The bus even made multiple trips from the hotel to the Fairgrounds on the night of the party for those guests who could not stay the duration. There was certainly no lack of space to roam around. The party hall could have accommodated 600 people, Valerie said, in addition to the space reserved outside.

“We could have [had the party in] a hotel,” she said, “but that wasn’t what the kids wanted. And it’s all about the kids, keeping them happy, giving them food they want, and giving them space to play.”

Guests at Aaron’s party — all casually dressed for the occasion — had an array of games to choose from, including air hockey, pool, Ping-Pong, video games, an obstacle course, and even laser tag.

Since part of the festivities took place outdoors, the Tobins hired a security guard to make sure the kids’ party stayed contained and under control outside.

Aaron’s theme combined his love of sports and travel. Mascots Albert and Alberta of the University of Florida Gators and Raymond of the Tampa Bay Rays were in attendance to dance and have their pictures taken with guests. These furry partiers were booked two years in advance.

Valerie, an interior designer by trade, decorated the venue with the help of some friends. Each table reflected the theme with its own metalframe silhouette sculpture of a sports player (e.g., a golfer in full swing, a running linebacker) as the centerpiece. Instead of a number, each table was identified by a “destination” displayed on a placard. Balloons were attached to the sculptures and hung in the air between the tables and the 25-foottall ceiling. Bar Mitzvah dad Lee had stressed the important of “see-through” centerpieces, as he didn’t want guests’ views of each other or the venue to be obstructed.

Valerie said two of her best friends from Atlanta came two days early and helped decorate. “It was a labor of love to get everything ready,” she said.

Valerie didn’t use a party planner, she said, and just kept doing something Bar Mitzvah related virtually every day.

The favors given out at Aaron’s party were custom-made backpacks printed with the catchphrase “Aaron’s Antics” and displayed different sports balls in conjunction with an airplane zipping around a globe.

For Aaron’s parents, the catchphrase was easy to pick. Since his birth, the Tobins have sent out an annual newsletter to friends and family called “Aaron’s Antics.”

The immediate family also sported bright yellow jerseys with the family name across the back. This way, it was easy to find each other in the huge crowd, Valerie said, especially their 8-year-old daughter.

Her advice in planning a party is to start early and stay involved throughout the entire process.

“I don’t know how some people can start planning only four months (before their child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah). I couldn’t leave anything to chance,” she said. “I didn’t want to wait until the last minute.”

When selecting vendors, Tobin said she went through every Jewish Press Bar & Bat

Mitzvah Planning Guide for five years.

She also practiced a “rule of three:” get three different quotes from three different vendors and take your pick. Aside from starting early, Tobin made sure to personally meet with every vendor, go to every caterer’s tasting, and be up-front with what she wanted.

“The most important thing is good communication of expectations,” she said. “When people know what they’re supposed to do, they’ll step up.”

But above all else, make sure everyone has a good time. “Our son has a beautiful memory of the weekend,” Valerie said. “That’s what it’s all about.”